Why The Handshake Matters
I remember my father mentioning to a younger me, “always stand when you shake someone’s hand. It teaches you so much about them quickly.” It’s something that is well and truly ingrained in me thirty years on. Countless blog posts with titles such as “20 unspoken rules for men” also repeat this advice.
Recently, when I reflect on my thoughts and curiosities, I’ve always wondered where the handshake came from. I wanted to learn about this universally human act. The impact on human interactions is so profound that the act is almost a requirement. How far back does this interaction that works both as a greeting and farewell? What can we learn about human interactions from this?
Hand shaking is such a universal practice and prompts unity between two parties. I tried to shake my own hand and was only met by awkwardness and concern from co-workers.
Let’s imagine this: two figures, standing tall and proud, hands reaching out to meet in a firm clasp. The handshake, a millennium-old gesture, remains simple yet significant. It is a silent agreement with respect and connection across cultures and time.
But why?
One theory is that it all started with weapons. Picture two strangers meeting on road. Their hands open, palms up, showing they aren’t out with malicious intent. “Look,” their gesture seems to say, “no swords, no spears, just peaceful intentions. You are safe.” There is nothing more disarming than an open palm. Some even say the up-and-down motion served a sneaky purpose. The shaking loosened sleeves clear of any hidden daggers.
I see this too in my own military training. In high threats scenarios, when approached by someone who is armed but offers a handshake, it disarms cortisol levels. Never mind the rifle slung across his chest, an open palm relaxes anxieties. It also allows more space for conclusions and curiosity.
But maybe handshaking wasn’t just about avoiding a fight. Or maybe it grew from that. Perhaps the handshake was a way to seal a deal, a silent swear-on-my-chosen-god kind of thing. Clasped hands became a symbol of trust, a promise made flesh, as if saying, “My word is my bond, and this shake is my oath.”
The handshake’s origin story is shrouded by time. However, this hand-to-hand gesture has persisted, whether it was a threat check, a trust builder, or something else entirely. It’s crossed oceans, cultures, and epochs, remaining a simple, yet powerful way to say, “Hello, I see you, and I mean you well.”
Standing is not just for show. Rising to greet someone conveys respect and acknowledges their worth. It’s a silent language of equality, especially in today’s world.
“An agreement can be expressed quickly and clearly in words,” the historian Walter Burkert once explained, “but is only made effective by a ritual gesture: open, weapon-less hands stretched out toward one another, grasping each other in a mutual handshake.”
A ninth-century B.C. carving depicting the Assyrian King Shalmaneser III touching flesh to form an alliance with a Babylonian ruler is one of the earliest documented instances of a handshake. Later on, Greek funerary art from the fourth and fifth centuries B.C. also frequently featured the gesture. Gravestones often show the departed shaking hands with a family member. This symbolised the connection between the living and the dead, or a final farewell. In contrast, people in ancient Rome frequently regarded the handshake as a sign of loyalty and friendliness.
When examining ancient Greece, the words “dexiosis” and “cheir dote” denoted right-hand welcomes. These were were frequently used to cement deals or show goodwill. It’s interesting to note that the usage of the right hand to denote openness and trust, instead of the left.
Though the precise language changed, handshake-like words continued throughout Europe during the Middle Ages. People in England commonly used expressions like “taking hands” or “hand plight.” They frequently incorporated handclasps into vows and oaths.
Early in the 17th century, the word “handshake” itself appeared in written English. It’s interesting to note that its original meaning differed from its current meaning.
According to some historians, the Quakers of the 17th century popularised the modern use of handshake. They considered a straightforward handclasp to be a more equal gesture than bowing or tipping a hat. Later, the greeting spread, and by the 1800s, handbooks on manners frequently contained instructions on how to shake hands. The handshake was intended to be forceful but not too strong, as is frequently suggested today. “A gentleman who rudely presses the hand offered him in salutation, or too violently shakes it, ought never to have an opportunity to repeat his offence,” an 1877 guide advised its readers.
It wasn’t until the 19th century that it was widely accepted as a conventional courtesy. This was in line with the emergence of equality and individualism. Handshakes replaced bows as the more polite method of expressing acknowledgement.
The term “handshake” has been impacted by many languages and civilizations throughout history. For instance, the German word “Handschlag” (handstroke) and the French expression “poignée de main” (literally, “handful of hand”) provide intriguing interpretations of their different cultures.
There is more to the tale of the “handshake” than language. It’s connected to gender roles shifting, social graces, and even technology breakthroughs. For example, the development of photography and film in the late 1800s cemented the handshake’s association with agreements. This practice continues to be done today.
Investigating the origins of the “handshake” shows an engrossing trip through centuries of social development. It progressed from a sign of safety to a contemporary gesture of equality. It serves as a reminder that even the most basic gestures convey complex meanings and tell stories about how people connect.
In a world saturated with virtual connections and random encounters, the handshake keeps its relevance. It’s more than just a physical clasp. It’s a nonverbal exchange of respect, a silent agreement to engage, a microcosm of impressions.
The act of standing for a handshake signifies an intentional acknowledgment of the other person’s presence. It’s a subtle show of regard, a way of saying, “You matter enough to me to rise for this meet.” This gesture of respect transcends status, creating a sense of equality. In a society grappling with countless issues, standing can be a powerful equalizer. It helps to establish rapport, and sets the stage for a genuine human connection.
A firm handshake while standing tall exudes confidence and purpose. Our body language communicates more than words ever can, and the physical act of rising sends a silent message of assertiveness and self-assuredness. It projects openness and engagement, inviting the other person into a shared space. Good posture plays a crucial role here. It’s a subtle declaration that you’re ready to discuss whatever the interaction brings.
The handshake, while powerful, is just one piece of the nonverbal communication puzzle. Standing allows for greater eye contact, an essential element in building trust and rapport. When two individuals meet on equal footing, their gaze can linger, establishing a more genuine connection than a handshake delivered from a seated position. Standing allows for a firmer grip, conveying warmth and sincerity. A firm, controlled handshake delivered while standing feels deliberate and meaningful. Unlike the limp clasp, that often results when shaking hands from a seated position.
Think about it. How much do you immediately learn about someone when you shake their hand?
While the handshake may be a universal symbol of greeting, its nuances vary across cultures. In formal settings in many Asian countries, a slight bow while standing is considered a sign of respect, particularly when greeting elders or those in positions of authority. In certain European cultures, a firm handshake accompanied by direct eye contact is essential for establishing trust and professionalism. Understanding these cultural expectations and adjusting your greeting demonstrates awareness, fostering richer interactions.
The impact of standing for a handshake transcends the initial greeting. It sets the tone for the entire interaction, creating a more engaging atmosphere. When two individuals meet standing up, the physical space between them shrinks. This promotes a sense of collaboration and equality. This engages active listening and two-way communication, paving the way for a deeper connection. Even if the conversation shifts to a seated position, the initial impression of standing lingers. This leaves a lasting memory of courtesy and respect.
We must also understand the handshakes limitation. Accessibility concerns and cultural norms may suggest that standing is not right. In such situations, opting for other gestures is key.
A warm smile coupled with a slight forward lean shows courtesy without compromising accessibility. Remember, it’s the intention behind the gesture that truly matters.
